Home Whatsapp Status Funny Status Funny Facebook Status ~ Top 100 Funny, Clever, and Cute Status

Funny Facebook Status ~ Top 100 Funny, Clever, and Cute Status

Everyone asks us, what is the most funniest facebook status update? No more, because we have compiled this final list. It is determined based on the average number of comments / likes of each status update. Some people call them the most funny status updates, we just call them funny but cool facebook status. Choose any of these funny facebook status and you will definitely be welcome by the comments! For Hindi Status click here

100+ Best Funny Facebook Status

1.For all you who think I’m not worth much, I’ll have you know I have many great qualities or as my therapist calls them “symptoms”.

2.Men, we failed we just can never understand the woman’s logic, so give up trying, nod your head, and say thank you for still loving us anyway

3.For a good healthy dose of insanity, when leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!’

4.Life would be perfect if some girls had mute buttons, guys had edit buttons, bad times had fast forward buttons, & good times had pause buttons. Live, laugh! facebook funny status

5.Put all your neighbors names on your Halloween tombstones in your front yard and wink when you’re outside and they walk by.

6.One night, as I as lying in bed, I looked up at the stars and thought to myself: “What the fuck happened to the roof?” funny facebook status

7.While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body, but men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.

8.When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you’ve done recently.

9.Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?

10.I can’t take this long distance relationship anymore… Fridge, you’re coming to my room

11.Learn a lesson from your dog. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.

12.She texted me: “your adorable.” I replied: “no, YOU’RE adorable.” Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo. funny facebook status

13.I’m in a relationship with sleep and i get some every night… and if i’m lucky i get some during the day

14.The little boy asked his father ‘DAD how much does it cost to get married? Father replied ‘I don’t know son. I’m still paying

15.Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

16.Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

17.Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

18.Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? funny status

19.Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

20.I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What’s the proper etiquette here?

21.Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

22.Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air then you wave them like you just don’t care

23.Tips to reduce weight: turn your head to the right, now to the left… now repeat this procedure every time you’re offered something to eat.

24.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. funny status

25.Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

26.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

27.We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.

28.You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

29.By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

30.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. funny status messages

31.I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

32.A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

33.Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

34.If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, there is no question. I would want them to be alive.

35.Flight Attendant: “Here is the extra blanket you asked for.” Me: “Thanks. Could you jam it into that guy’s mouth?”

36.Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside. funny status messages

37.They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

38.If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?

39.By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.

40.We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour

41.Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

42.I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

43.Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. funny status updates

44.Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

45.A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

46.Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

47.The longer the title the less important the job.

48.Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

49.Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. funny status updates

50.I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

51.The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

52.Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

53.The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

54.I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

55.People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

56.I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

57.Google Maps really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. funny FB status

58.Life’s like a bird, it’s pretty cute until it craps on your head.

59.Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job. facebook funny status

60.A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

61.Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.

62.Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer letters!

63.I went to see my doctor. “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me?” He said “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.” funny FB status

64.The farther away the future is, the better it looks.

65.There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

66.I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

67.We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

68.I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. funny facebook status updates

69.If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

70.How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

71.I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?

72.To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.

73.Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

74.Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.

75.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. funny facebook status updates

76.I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

77.A perfect girl is not real, and a real girl is not perfect . facebook funny status

78.your arrival was fantastic, now let me see your departure!

79.I wish I had somebody to blame all of my problems on, like my wife does.

80.I’m not a doctor but, I play one on TV.

81.I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly… (Or any Anchorman Quote) funny status for facebook that everyone will like

82.Facebook account for sale, Friends included.

83.My safe word is “insufficient funds”.

84.The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

85.I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?

86.Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

87.The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

88.If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

89.All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

90.Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

91.I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

92.There is a great need for sarcasm font.

93.Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture. funny status for facebook that everyone will like

94.Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

95.I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

96.Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

97.If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?

98.After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!

99.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

100.Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.

101.Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

102.The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

103.Money talks…but all mine ever says is good-bye.

104.Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. funny clever facebook status

105.There are no winners in life…only survivors.

106.I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

107.I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

108.A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

109.Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

110.A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

111.We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

112.My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

113.When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

114.Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe.

115.The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

116.Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

117.Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. funny clever facebook status

118.No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.

119.If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

120.The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women. facebook funny status

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